"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
12/02/2015 at 09:53 • Filed to: None
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"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
12/02/2015 at 09:53 • Filed to: None | 4
| 13 |
If any of you are looking for a book to read over the holidays, you might consider List of the Lost , which was written by Morrissey, the former frontman for The Smiths. Every year, the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! gives out its award for the worst depiction of sex in a book, and this year, Morrissey won with this passage about a sexual encounter between two of the book’s main characters, Eliza and Ezra.
At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.
You can pick up your copy of List of the Lost wherever fine books are sold.
Chariotoflove
> ttyymmnn
12/02/2015 at 10:02 |
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Wow. That is possibly the most painful run on sentence I have ever read. And that’s before even trying to visualize the contortions in the scene it describes.
Ash78, voting early and often
> ttyymmnn
12/02/2015 at 10:02 |
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So many great band names in that passage.
I’m going with Otherwise Central Zone, Bulbous Salutation, or The Barrel Rolling Breasts.
RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> ttyymmnn
12/02/2015 at 10:07 |
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I posted it
two months ago
when I became aware of it, but I think a lot of people missed it. Definitely worth revisiting.
SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
> ttyymmnn
12/02/2015 at 10:08 |
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Ugh, Morrissey. What an annoying twat.
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ttyymmnn
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
12/02/2015 at 10:13 |
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I did miss your post. I like that oh-so-pretentious photo you chose.
Zip-McBump
> ttyymmnn
12/02/2015 at 10:20 |
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He looks like he’s wearing some sort of futuristic cultish vestments in Rover’s post.
RallyWrench
> ttyymmnn
12/02/2015 at 12:17 |
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I seem to recall the estimable RamblinRover brought this passage up some time back. Horrible then, horrible now.
Frank Grimes
> ttyymmnn
12/02/2015 at 12:28 |
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nope not reading this. morrissey is amazing.
Grindintosecond
> Chariotoflove
12/02/2015 at 13:28 |
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Try reading Bulwer Lytton. “It was a dark and stormy...” Yeah that guy. so bad they have a contest every year to see who can make the worst intro to anything ever.
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Grindintosecond
> ttyymmnn
12/02/2015 at 13:30 |
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Can’t decide if they awarded the worst sex scene writing or for describing the worst sex . . .
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ttyymmnn
> Grindintosecond
12/02/2015 at 14:04 |
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Sex is like pizza. Even whent it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.
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ttyymmnn
> RallyWrench
12/02/2015 at 14:08 |
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He did. His link is in the comments to this post.
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Chariotoflove
> Grindintosecond
12/02/2015 at 15:18 |
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I thought that was Snoopy. ;)
Also, I like that A Wrinkle in Time starts with that sentence (as an homage?; I’m not sure).